toughleaf | ic contact ; @reggie.goodleaf

I shot its antler off. Not so scary.

You ever seen the aftermath of a car meeting a non-feral moose at highway speeds

Why would I have seen that.

Idk, probably be weird if you had. Sounded like a cool way to brag about the fucked up shit I've seen.

Look. I'm very bored. Try again with another thing.

The first call I ever went on was a hunting accident. My geography teacher only had half his jaw left but still kept trying to talk and insist he was fine.

[...] I was going to. Just. Say a social crime I've seen but. Rude to your teacher.
That's fucked.

Not a lot of interesting social crimes in Trumbull County. Give me a taste of what the city kids get up to when they're feeling wild

My friend ran off with her sugar daddy's wife and he died and they split the will money one time. I'm not sure if they killed him. I hope so. Amazing funeral.

God. Why didn't I think of getting a sugar daddy with a hot wife and a weak heart instead of going to the fire academy. What was the best part of the funeral

I know. Even I worked. A little too hard in comparison. Ceremonial guinea pig pallbearers.

Did they already own the guinea pigs

Wait no first I need to know if they wore little tuxes and THEN tell me if the guineas were also rented

They did. They were rented. But he really had guinea pigs. He just didn't want them in danger. So they had to find exact replicas.

Edited 2024-12-03 03:50 (UTC)

What the fuck

I'm so mad I haven't been given an opportunity to eat the rich

Can't help you. Not rich anymore.

Who do we think counts as rich these days? Should I be putting the moves on Mara?

Probably. Infinite junk.

So just how rich were you

The kind where it'd be rude of me. To answer this question.

Nice. When I was 14 I'd read historical fiction and fantasize about beheading the bourgeoisie in the streets of Prescott. I had exactly zero concept of what constituted the bourgeoisie.

Oh. Similar. Except then later I realized I would've been beheaded. Just so fast.

I bet at least some of the zeds we've put down were landlords and subprime mortgage lenders and shit. Those teen dorks can have those little crumbs.

And who knows, maybe one of these days I'll behead you.

I escaped from Seattle. Almost surely I have.

Hm. You can try.

[...] What was the situation like in Seattle? I've literally been at work at the same job at the same place since before Day Zero, I only ever get this shit second hand.

You'd be amazed at how stealthy I can be while dragging a functional guillotine through the streets.

Oh.
Bad.
[...] Felt like. Everyone was dead. Or gone already. We got out the day before the bombs. Though. So I don't know about after that.

There's so many easier ways. Piano wires. Come on.

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